Hope and hopelessness play a large role in the phenomenon of suicide and depression including that of children and adolescents (Liu, et al., 2021). On the positive side I am always reminded of the use of hope to overcome hopelessness in stories reminiscent of a hero’s journey. Stories, where in the face of insurmountable odds, one digs in deep to find themselves, their own hope, and the hope of others joining together to help whilst overcoming trials and tribulations (Campbell, 2011).
We resonate with this as we often love to see others overcome challenges. It is why many movies are so successful like the Star Wars Saga. Hopelessness refers to thinking that one’s situation will not get better no matter what (Jobes, 2023). My work as a therapist is to help a client to see that hope exists for the future. Seems simple enough. Unfortunately, life brings with it many stressors and events that can be seen as failures. I am always referring to Socrates wisdom: “Falling down is not a failure. Failure comes when you stay where you have fallen.” Instead of opportunity, in hopelessness, one sees no chance of improvement. We must remind ourselves and family that sometimes we, or our children, need help. Why is this important?
As a constellation of suicide, hopelessness is an aspect that plays a vital role (Jobes, 2023). Hopelessness is also tied closely with depression and can be overlooked as an important factor that needs to be managed as well as being an important predictor for suicidality (Rognli, & Fjermestad, 2023). Predictors of hopelessness can be related to (but not limited to) difficult family relationships, irrational thinking, trauma, and poor self-esteem of efficacy (Rognli, & Fjermestad, 2023). If I do not value myself and I think there is no hope, I may question why I should go on? Hopelessness can also play a role in predicting Major Depressive Disorder and can be seen with anhedonia (the inability to experience or difficulty experiencing pleasure when engaging with activities that normally bring enjoyment), agitation or slowness in movement, tiredness, sleep challenges, feelings of low worth, guilt, and thoughts of death or suicide (Liu, et al, 2021).
A study by Koçtürk, & Bilginer (2022) examined psychological symptoms and hopelessness in runaway female adolescents in Turkey. They identified that a significant contributing factor to hopelessness was parent child-conflict ending up with hopelessness for a sound future and their running away to the streets where they then engaged in risky and unsafe behaviors (Koçtürk, & Bilginer, 2022). It is important to note the child/adolescent’s perceptions of the conflict as being a driver for hopelessness. This is further supported by Li, Li, Wang, & Bao (2016) in their study identifying the importance in parenting of how the desire for psychological control is a risk factor in adolescent suicidality. This supports attachment theory and the importance of the parent child relationship in mental health and suicidality (Li, Li, Wang & Bao, 2016). Elements of feeling thwarted, reduced feelings of autonomy, and a desire to escape pain can lead to the use of suicide as a relief (Li, Li, Wang & Bao, 2016). What can we do with this information?
Indeed, this information sounds bleak. But as research goes, it is identifying valuable information that we can then use to help those in need. To be true, we must recognize those suffering with suicidal ideation, hopelessness, depression, and significant mental health challenges. We must understand that they have a depth of pain that is severe. A tall order. We must engage our empathy, and compassion and use that to help us move forward. At times we must look at our own part in the mix and see what we can do to improve too. To be real, parent-child conflict is a very real thing that is ubiquitous in the journey of parenting. This is where we look towards defeating hopelessness and promoting the growth of hope.
Hope can be seen as looking forward to something, trust that something will come true, an expectation of better things or success, and can even be conceptualized as recognizing that in failure we can be optimistic that things will work out for the better (Guetzloe, & Rockwell, 2003). Viktor Frankl (2006) was a holocaust and internment camp survivor who had much suffering in his experience. He was a psychiatrist and existential practitioner who devised logotherapy, a therapy to identify meaning in one’s life (Frankl, 2006). The challenge being that we must find that thing. In this Frankl (2006) identifies that if we find meaning in our suffering, we will find that goal and in working toward a worthwhile goal he will find meaning and hope. Frankl’s (2006) hope, throughout his time in the internment camps, was to be able to help others find meaning in their lives through logotherapy.
But how can we lead our children and adolescents there? We must help them have success in life to be sure. Playing the role model is very helpful for children and adolescents. Bandura’s Bobo doll experiments in the 1970’s identified how adults are role models and how modeling behavior is later seen in children, current related research shows this still to be true, especially with permissive attitudes and non-direction from caregivers (Drewes, 2008). This is particularly true of aggressive behavior that is also paired with muscular actions (Drewes, 2008). Children look to caregivers for direction and to model what they do. In effect they want to be like us and to please us. When we provide the positive model or when we set boundaries on unwanted behavior, we teach our children how to do this for themselves over time (Guetzloe & Rockwell, 2003). Boundaries promote safety and promoting that safety helps manage things like hope and a willingness to venture out. Positive parenting including collaboration of the parents, warmth, positive control, and low levels of harsh parenting help to provide models for and create prosocial behavior in children (van der Storm, van Lissa, Lucassen, Helmerhorst, K. O. W., & Keizer, 2021). Logically, we can see that prosocial behavior results in a more social being connected and supported and one who will then be freer to have and pursue hopes and dreams.
On an individual level, children can learn hope. As noted, they are going to learn by watching us, our modeling, particularly optimistic behavior, and by being nurtured and protected. (Guetzloe & Rockwell, 2003). Consider all the positive cartoons and movies that we watched as youngsters and that our children watch. Being exposed to positive media and stories about hope and optimism can have a beneficial effect (Guetzloe & Rockwell, 2003). We can also encourage hope through helping the child succeed in engaging in new tasks and being rewarded, meeting role models or community leaders who portray positive attributes and using a language of hope in the home; think about a positive word of the day on the refrigerator (Guetzloe & Rockwell, 2003). Temple Grandin (2022), a prolific writer; on autism, the science of autism, and animal science identifies that we must support our children in achieving success and in setting them up for success. How can you help children and adolescents with success? Grandin (2022) identifies many different thinking styles including visual thinking, linear thinking, creativity, spatial thinking, and abstractions, and that knowing a type of thinking may help with leading one to success. For example, you can have a musician who does well with creativity, or a spatial thinker that thinks in patterns. This leads us to knowing the individual and how they think, what works best for them?
On an individual level, children can learn hope. As noted, they are going to learn by watching us, our modeling, particularly optimistic behavior, and by being nurtured and protected. (Guetzloe & Rockwell, 2003). Consider all the positive cartoons and movies that we watched as youngsters and that our children watch.Being exposed to positive media and stories about hope and optimism can have a beneficial effect (Guetzloe & Rockwell, 2003).
We can also encourage hope through helping the child succeed in engaging in new tasks and being rewarded, meeting role models or community leaders who portray positive attributes and using a language of hope in the home; think about a positive word of the day on the refrigerator (Guetzloe & Rockwell, 2003). Temple Grandin (2022), a prolific writer; on autism, the science of autism, and animal science identifies that we must support our children in achieving success and in setting them up for success. How can you help children and adolescents with success? Grandin (2022) identifies many different thinking styles including visual thinking, linear thinking, creativity, spatial thinking, and abstractions, and that knowing a type of thinking may help with leading one to success. For example, you can have a musician who does well with creativity, or a spatial thinker that thinks in patterns. This leads us to knowing the individual and how they think, what works best for them?
Hopelessness can have tragic effects on our children and adolescents. Obviously, there is a danger to depression and suicide, but there is also the problem of a long-term life of seeing no hope, having a low self-concept or esteem, and little confidence in being able to act to improve one’s life or situation. Despondency will reign and depression and hopelessness may remain indefinitely. Promoting an optimal level of hope, through healthy thinking patterns, activities, and supported successes will work to combat hopelessness and improve the quality of life. Imagine a child looking at the world as a safe place to create their life and having the confidence to do so. Of course, there are children that are already suffering. These tactics still work. In some cases, we may need to do treatment like David Jobes (2023) CAMS Care and directly confront pain, stress, agitation, hopelessness, and self-hate. This program helps to identify these issues and then provide a space to work on them. This is, in conjunction with other modes like DBT or trauma-focused therapies will pair well with support in the home. It has often been said that it takes a village. Let us orchestrate the village so that we can develop healthy attitudes and behaviors for our children and help them to see the future and have hope.
Dr. Robert Willoughby is the Care Pathway Program Manager at C&A. He has 7 years of experience in his own research with suicides in the first responder community and oversees the care and development of suicide-related programs and the Zero Suicide Project at C&A.
References
Campbell, J. (2011). Comparative Mythology, Joseph Campbell Foundation. (e-single)
Drewes, A. A. (2008). Bobo revisited: What the research says. International Journal of Play
Therapy, 17(1), 52–65. https://doi-org.msp.idm.oclc.org/10.1037/1555-6824.17.1.52
Drewes, A. A. (2008). “Bobo revisited: What the research says”: Correction to Drewes
(2008). International Journal of Play Therapy, 17(2), 101. https://doi-org.msp.idm.oclc.org/10.1037/a0013841
Frankl, V. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press. (E-version)
Grandin, T. (2022) Visual Thinking: The Hidden Gifts of People Who Think in Pictures, Patterns,
and Abstractions. Riverhead Books, New York.
Guetzloe, E., & Rockwell, S. (2003). Preventing Hopelessness in Children and Adolescents.
Beyond Behavior, 20–24.
Jobes, D., (2023). Managing suicidal risk; A collaborative approach, third edition. Guilford
Press. (E-book).
Li, D., Li, X., Wang, Y., & Bao, Z. (2016). Parenting and Chinese Adolescent Suicidal Ideation
and Suicide Attempts: The Mediating Role of Hopelessness. Journal of Child & Family Studies, 25(5), 1397–1407. https://doi-org.msp.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s10826-015-0334-0
Liu, Q., Martin, N. C., Findling, R. L., Youngstrom, E. A., Garber, J., Curry, J. F., Hyde, J. S.,
Essex, M. J., Compas, B. E., Goodyer, I. M., Rohde, P., Stark, K. D., Slattery, M. J., Forehand, R., & Cole, D. A. (2021). Hopelessness and depressive symptoms in children and adolescents: An integrative data analysis. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 130(6), 594–607. https://doi-org.msp.idm.oclc.org/10.1037/abn0000667
Koçtürk, N., & Bilginer, Ç. (2022). Sexual abuse, psychological symptoms and hopelessness
among runaway female adolescents in Turkey. Journal of Forensic Psychiatry & Psychology, 33(3), 461–474. https://doi-org.msp.idm.oclc.org/10.1080/14789949.2022.2065333
Rognli, E. W., & Fjermestad, K. W. (2023). Informant Discrepancy in Report of Parent-
Adolescent Conflict as a Predictor of Hopelessness among Depressed Adolescents: A Replication Study. Journal of Child & Family Studies, 32(8), 2522–2531. https://doi-org.msp.idm.oclc.org/10.1007/s10826-023-02610-3
van der Storm, L., van Lissa, C. J., Lucassen, N., Helmerhorst, K. O. W., & Keizer, R. (2021).
Maternal and paternal parenting and child prosocial behavior: A meta-analysis using a structural equation modeling design. Marriage & Family Review. https://doi-org.msp.idm.oclc.org/10.1080/01494929.2021.1927931
Dr. Robert Willoughby is C&A’s Care Program Manager. Dr. Willougby holds technical certificates in medical assisting, EMT-B, EMT-paramedic and completed critical care paramedic coursework. For more information on this program, please call 330.433.6075 or visit our website at www.childandadolescent.org.
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